Top 5 reasons why the Celtics will not win the NBA Championship

Top 5 reasons why the Celtics will not win the NBA Championship:
5.) Because Big Baby Davis is actually a mutant infant with slightly more advanced motor skills for someone that age.
4.) Because Kevin Garnett will slip on a pool of Doc River’s nose grease and fuck up his knee again.
3.) Because Rajon Rondo has been battered and bruised like a southern wife in previous rounds by the likes of Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard.
2.) Because Paul Pierce’s stringy and patchy facial hair will be determined to be a cancerous growth, leaving him with about 3 days to live.
1.) Because Boston sports fans are 96% more intolerable than LA Lakers fans, and the NBA refs know this.

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